


It's  A Bitter World I'd Rather Dream

by Morrigan_Healy



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 07:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15238791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morrigan_Healy/pseuds/Morrigan_Healy
Summary: Michelle Young, a twenty-two year old fated to survive alone. Or is she? It seems the walkers haven't destroyed everything, for love is still to be found in Georgia's backwoods, even in the most unexpected of situations. Shane/OC. Incomplete/On hiatus





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for chapter one, this is set two days after 2x11 (Judge, Jury, Executioner), and the Atlanta group remains at Hershel's farm.

This is set two days after 2x11 (Judge, Jury, Executioner), and the Atlanta group remains at Hershel's farm.

Michelle Young. A young woman, fated to survive alone. Or is she? It seems the walkers haven't destroyed everything, for love is still to be found in Georgia's backwoods.

Michelle Young had grown up knowing the way of the hunter, but also that of justice, because her father had worked in law enforcement. She never dreamed she would be the one to put a bullet in his head, instead of the criminal he was chasing after. Her life had been far from perfect before the walkers, and it sure as hell wasn't going to get any better.

She was scouting through the backwoods, looking for enough branches she could fashion into arrows for her bow with her father's pocketknife. Walking quietly toward the sound of flowing water, she smiled when she realized she'd stumbled upon a small brook, the rushing water reminding her of the days before, when she could go swimming in the family pool.

"AH! Fuck…" Michelle deadpanned, tripping over a downed tree, barely catching herself as a blinding strike of pain went through her body. She looked at her hand, she'd fallen wrong on it, and instantly she figured it was broken. Great. She was as good as dead, now, and ontop of that, she'd landed on her bow, snapping it in half. Just great.

All she had to do was wait for a walker to find her…or pray someone alive found her before then.

Carl Grimes was back in the woods behind Hershel's farm, where'd he'd seen the walker trapped in the brook. He felt guilty knowing that same walker had been the walker that had killed Dale; he knew he should have shot in when he had the chance. Carl held his father's gun out in front of him, scanning for more walkers. As he approached the brook, he was startled to find someone sitting by it.

The girl sitting there yelped when she saw him, "D-Don't sh-shoot m-me!"

Carl stepped forward, not lowering the gun, "You bit?"

"N-No. Sprained or broken ankle s'all…I need help…I'm alone, and I've got no weapons…" she replied, sniffling.

Carl debated whether or not he should help her or not. Would his father want to kill her like they had tried killing Randall?

"Hang on…I'm gonna go get help. Stay there."

"Wouldn't dream of movin'." She replied as Carl ran back toward the RV.  
On the way to find his dad, Carl was stopped by Shane Walsh, his father's best friend as well as fellow police officer.

"Where you going, little man?"

"Um…I found someone in the woods…she's got a broken ankle and she's alone with no weapons and really scared…and I don't want her to die."

Shane nodded, setting a hand on Carl's head, "We'd only kill her if she was a threat. Now come on, show me where she is."

Ten minutes later Carl had led Shane to where he'd seen the girl. Carl pointed toward where she was, "She's just by the brook…can I-"

"No, go on back to your mom, I'll go get her."

"But Sh-"

"Go on now."

Shane walked among the felled branches, seeing the brook not far ahead. By the water, knees pulled up to her chest, crying, was the girl.

"You're alive! And...I'm not bit...please help me...I'm hurt." she called, trying to take a deep breath.

He walked towards her slowly debating whether to grab his gun or not. Deciding against it, he walked closer still, watching her tremble.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, just relax now..." Shane reassured as she looked at him with fear filled eyes.

Shakily she nodded, "My wrist is sprained, and got some bruises, nothin' major. No weapons, all my ammo's spent, as is my bow, it broke literally fifteen minutes ago and my knife's missin'. Family's all dead and-"

"You sure you're not bit?" Shane asked as he reached for her wrist, surprised when the girl flinched.

"Not gonna ask my name? I'm the first human you see in how long? An' you're just standin' there, probably debatin' whether to kill me or not...I don't wanna die, I'm only twenty-two..." She said softly, lifting her arm so he could look at it.

"So what's your name?" he asked after a few moments. The girl blinked.

"Michelle Young. What's yours?"

Shane nodded as he stood, helping Michelle up.

"Shane Walsh. So how'd you end up out here, anyways?"

"My family was tryin' to reach Atlanta, for that refugee camp...on the way we got ambushed and my brother and I escaped into the woods after our mother got bit...he got bit before I wandered down here, I had to sh-shoot him m'self...now my fam's all dead...and I..."

"Yeah, we've all been through enough shit to write a book…I just wanna make sure….you sure you're not bit?"

"If I was, I woulda shot myself already. With this," she said as she held up the fragmented pieces of what Shane realized was a bow.

"No gun?"

"Like I said, no weapons, 'cept for that, which I can't really use anymore." She snapped, it was pretty obvious stress was getting to her.

"Hey, hey, I was only askin'. Gotta make sure, y'know? No need to get all defensive now," Shane said, but in his head he was thinking something completely different.

'She's only getting' defensive 'cause I'm a guy….if Lori was here, she'd have no problem…wonder if she's lookin' for somewhere to stay? Well of 'course she is, but that's-'

"You gonna say somethin' else? You left your sentence hangin' there…"

"I was, yeah. But forget 'bout it now. "

The two stood in silence for some time, before Michelle asked, "So…you and that boy came from the same area…that your son?"

"Nah, he's my friends…I'm more like the crazy uncle to that kid," Shane explained as he realized her eyes had widened.

"Friend? So you're with a group?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Well..." Shane debated mentioning Herschel's farm, although he didn't really like the old man he wasn't just going to endanger everyone on the farm by bringing someone back with him this soon after the fiasco with Randall.

"You're hesisatating. That means yes. Look, I can't hurt anyone, I'm weaponless. Just...let me meet the leader of your group, unless if that's you, then do me a favor and shoot me already."

"Shoot you already? Don't you wanna live?"

"What's the point? I'm alone. Survival skills will only get you so far before the loneliness does you in."

Shane nodded in agreement, she had a point. Her saying that only made him think of him and Lori, she going behind Rick's back and entering into an affair with Shane because she believed Rick was dead.

Which he wasn't, and this had created too many problems to count. Lori was pregnant, and it was more then a likely possibility that the baby she carried was Shane's.

"I'm not the leader, I'm hopin' to change that." Shane admitted before adding, "And I guess, if you truly are weaponless and you're absolutely positive you're not bit, I could introduce you to the leader of our group." Shane concluded, walking off toward the house.

The girl nodded thankfully as she followed after Shane, debating if she really deserved to be living.

Imagine the surprise of the group when they saw Shane leading a brunette twenty-something out of the woods. Leading her back toward the RV, he was stopped by Rick.

"Who's that?"

"Carl found her. She needs to be looked at, her wrist is sprained an' she's pretty much helpless, she's got no weapons," Shane added, his gaze lingering on the still trembling Michelle.

Rick looked at the two of them, and then looked her over again. The girl looked alright, she had no visible cuts or wounds he could see.

"You lookin' for shelter?"

"Well…I really was just passin' through, tryin' to find sticks or branches I could fashion into arrows…then shit kinda just happened from there, broke my bow and sprained my wrist and all this…so really I think if I go off alone I'm as good as dead…" she replied.

"So it's yes?"

"If you could spare the room, I promise I'll work hard and contribute to this group! I'll sleep outside, and work until my hands bleed if you'll let me at least talk with y'all from time to time! I've been alone, talkin' to m'self and truthfully I think I'm losin' it."

Rick raised an eyebrow, the last thing he needed was to be talking with someone that had already lost their mind. He almost was debating letting her join the group, after all, she had said she'd work in exchange for being around another living being. Of course, the decision to do this could prove deadly in the end, but what was a young woman going to do to the group? Shane had said it himself, she'd come with no weapons…but still, Rick had to be sure.

Rick nodded, "So what's your story? You come with a group?"

"No...I was headin' toward Atlanta, but along the way, my fam got ambushed...I'm the only one left. Had to shoot my brother, but I prefer to use a bow...'course it broke the minute I got into those woods back there...where I sprained my ankle and now I'm here...thought I was a goner."

"You were headin' to Atlanta?"

"Well, yeah. For the refugee center and all."

Rick exchanged a grim glance and nod with Shane, "Atlanta...Atlanta's been overrun...there's nothing left."

"I-It has? My extended fam lived out there…I really am alone now…y'know maybe it's better if I just leave y'all alone…you don't need me weighin' you down." She explained.

"Well, the least we can do is have your wrist looked at. Then, if you want to leave, you can. Or, I'll talk to the group tonight and I'll see if they'll let you stay, because I have a feeling you could be an asset."

As Shane and the girl walked away towards the house, Rick smiled, adjusting the Sheriff Deputy's hat on top of his head. Later that night, the group would have to hold a small meeting, to finish deciding Randall's fate, and if the girl should join the group. Rick could see something different in Shane's eyes when he looked at Michelle, and now that his attention was focused elsewhere, maybe he wouldn't be so prone to outbursts and acting on a whim. And if Michelle could keep him in check, maybe, just maybe (Rick's smile grew at the thought) there was hope for the broken group yet.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! I thought my wrist was sprained not - OUCH! - broken!" Michelle yelped as Herschel lifted her hand, inspecting her wrist here and there.

"It's not. It's sprained, but there's alot of swelling making it hurt more. Maggie, go grab an old shirt and rip it into strips of fabric, we need to wrap her wrist nice and tight to keep the swelling down."

Maggie nodded, heading to one of the bedrooms.

Michelle whimpered, "There goes helping protect camp if y'all let me stay. I can't shoot, can I?"

"I thought you preferred a bow?" Shane cut in.

"I do...but I'd like to learn how to shoot..."

"Well, you won't be doing any of that for awhile," Herschel explained.

"Godda-"

"No swearing in the house!" Maggie called as she walked back into the room, handing the strips of torn fabric to Herschel.

Herschel began to tie the strips around Michelle's wrist, in part to make a compression brace to ease the swelling.

Shane reached for a strip, and Hershel nodded.

"If you want to finish her, then Maggie can find some fresh clothes for her, although she might fit into Beth's better."

"Thank you mister!" Michelle called, as Herschel walked away to go check on Lori and Carol. She hadn't expected everyone to be so nice; she'd pretty much expected herself to be dead already.

Shane looked at her, "Just because we'll all nice to ya now doesn't mean a thing. Keep that in mind. You might not be stayin' very long."

She looked at him, confused, "Stayin' very long? What?"

"This group's got a set way of doin' things. They don't take to newcomers easily, fact we've got a situation with another one right now, 'cept this guy's a killer."

"So just kill him then." Michelle deadpanned, almost causing Shane to smile. Their logic was about the same.

"See, that's what I said we should do, but nah, these guys? This old guy was sayin' that if we did that, we'd have no humanity left in the group, but ya see, that's the point most people haven't realized...it's not 'bout the right choice, it's 'bout the choice that keeps us alive."

"Wow...well said. Beautiful, really." Michelle said, before adding, "So...about stayin'...what d'ya mean?"

"The group might not accept you. I guess what I mean is that, well, you might be right back out where you were when I found ya."

Michelle's eyes widened.

Surely she wouldn't be left for dead when she'd done nothing wrong. Would she?


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright. We're all here again 'cause there's a few issues to work out," Rick said as the group was gathered in the living room of Herschel's house.

"Weren't we just here before Dale died? D'ya really wanna go through that again?" Andrea piped up, glancing around, most other survivors shaking their heads.

"Well, we still gotta decide Randall's fate. Dale wanted us to keep our humanity, I say we do things his way. We let Randall go." Rick said.

"But what if this time you don't come back? Eighteen miles out wasn't enough?" Lori asked her husband accusingly.

"That's why we don't take the highway this time 'round. Let him loose in the woods, he'll find his way back to where he came from," Rick explained, causing Shane to frown.

"I still think we should kill him. If he goes to his group and brings them down on us, we're screwed."

"I agree. I haven't met this kid, but if he's as bad as I've heard, we don't need people being endangered." a new voice said, causing everyone to like at the kitchen door.

Standing in the doorway was a young twenty something brunette, some parts of her hair streaked blonde. She wore a faded 'The Academy Is...' t shirt with a pair of black skinny jeans, red hightop converse on her feet.

"Who the hell is that?" Glenn asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Yeah...how'd she get in here?" T-Dog added.

"Just relax. Her name is Michelle. She was in the woods this morning, Carl found her. She has a sprained wrist and no weapons, and she's promised to work to stay with us."

"So we're just gonna let her in? Like that?" Carol asked.

"If she'll-" Rick started to say something, but Michelle interrupted him, "Look, I'm only askin' for a chance! I've got no fam, and no weapons. If I go out there, I'm just walker bait, meanin' I'll be a walker you might haveta kill later! I'll work m'self to the bone if I can atleast talk to y'all, keep my sanity! I'll sleep outside if ya want me to, I'll keep watch, just please let me-"

"Shut up." Andrea said calmly, although she had her gun raised, pointed at the brunette's forehead.

"Wh-what? I thought-"

"I said, shut up." Andrea repeated, walking over to the girl, itching to set the gun against her forehead.

"Because of you, we could die. Walkers could have followed you out here. Give me a reason not to shoot you tonight."

"Andrea, calm down. She's just like the rest of us, lookin' for somewhere safe. She's no threat to you, or anyone else." Shane said quickly, trying to distract the blonde so he could take her gun.

"I don't know that, Shane. She could be one of Randall's gang."

"Who's Randall?" Michelle asked.

"There you go, Andrea. She doesn't even know who he is."

"And we don't kill the living, unless they try to kill us first." Rick added, hoping to defuse what tension was present before adding, "And Michelle has no weapons."

Andrea sighed and backed away from the girl, who sighed in relief and then looked at Rick, "I guess I'll just be leavin' now. Nice meetin' y'all."

She went to walk away, and Rick noticed Shane's gaze was following her.

"Are we really going to let an unarmed, lonely twenty something head out on her own?" Rick asked the group, before an idea struck him.

"Carol, would you have said Sophia was unarmed and lonely out in the woods?"

Rick saw the sad smile as it flickered across the woman's face at the mention of her past daughter.

"Yes.. Are you saying...oh..." she trailed, realizing what he meant.

"She should stay." Carol said, causing Lori, Beth, Maggie, and T-Dog to nod as well.

"So...Carol, Lori, Maggie, Beth and T-Dog say yes. Anyone else?"

Rick looked around.

To his surprise, Shane stood up.

"I vote her staying."

"Me too." Added Glenn, who was sitting next to Maggie.

"If we keep her, things could end up like they did with Randall." Daryl said.

"She doesn't have a group...she kept stressing how lonely she was." Rick reiterated.

""Doesn't matter. I still say no." Daryl said, crossing his arms.

"I'm with Daryl. We don't know her...she could turn on us once she gets to know us." Andrea explained.

"Dad, I think she should stay...I don't want her to end up like Sophia." Carl said, mentally cringing at the memory of Sophia as a walker.

"Well, that's it then. Eight yeses, two no's. Herschel?"

"The girl can stay, a long as she keeps her promise of workin' after her wrist has healed." He replied.

"Then it's settled. She stays."

As soon as Rick said that, Carl got up and bounded out the door, determined to find the girl. She had just gotten to the entrance of the wood when he called for her.

"Hey! Wait!"

"Yes?" The girl asked, turning around, looking at Carl apprehensively.

"My dad said if you wanna stay, you're allowed ta join the group if ya keep your promises..." Carl reported, catching the girl's smile.

She nodded, "Thanks. If it's not too much trouble, I think I will. And y'know, if ya want, we could be friends." she offered, smiling.

Carl nodded, "Sure. I need someone younger then my parents to talk too anyways since my friend died..."

And together the two walked back to the house.

As it was getting colder, Herschel had agreed to Lori's pleas and the group was allowed back into the house.

The rooms were pretty much the same as before, the only difference being Shane wasn't sleeping alone. Albeit the couch in the front room was little, but for Michelle, it was the best thing she'd seen aside from Carl earlier that morning.

Everyone had gone to bed already; the only people still up were Michelle and Shane. Maggie had given her an old nightgown of Beth's, even though it seemed more like an old over sized tee.

As Michelle walked out of the bathroom, pulling down the over sized shirt so it covered her legs, she explained, "It doesn't really fit...kinda big, but it's comfy. I'm sorry...this too short for ya? Should I go change?" she added innocently, her hands kneading the banded bottom of the top, exposing the boy-short style underwear she had on.

Shane blinked, not realizing he'd been caught staring.

The top was white, with cinched sleeves and ruffles and Michelle was right, Shane could see that it was too big for her. She had to tie the braided bow extra tight just to keep her breasts covered. Shane smiled, noticing the underwear barely covered her thighs, it was pretty short.

"Nah, it's fine." He could tell she was waiting for something, but he didn't want to impose.

"We're sleeping on the couch, right?"

"Yep." Michelle yawned at then looked at him.

"Let's go to bed then...I've had a bad week," she added, before smiling, "An' that's an understatement."

He nodded; lying down on the couch, surprised there was room for her beside him.

And then a thought hit him, 'why wasn't he sleeping on the floor?' The girl didn't even know him, and here she was, supposed to sleep practically ontop of him, being the couch was small.

"Hey, you want the couch so you can stretch out? I don't mind the floor." Shane offered, sitting up.

Michelle yawned, "If you want...but I'll take the floor, it won't bother me either. I owe you for saving me." she said tiredly.

'Girl, you have no idea...' Shane thought as he got up and let her lie down on the couch, sitting down on the floor next to her.

The floor wouldn't bother him, all those nights in senior year he spent on the bathroom floor from hanging out at the bars too long had conditioned him to be able to sleep anywhere, really.

He heard her sigh contentedly after she'd covered herself with the blanket, and then he asked, "Comfy?"

"I'd feel better if I had a lil' white noise, somethin' to sooth my mind..." she drawled, green eyes already closing.

"Like what?" Shane asked, confused.

"Your heartbeat."

Shane blinked, slightly taken aback by what she'd said. Was this proof she was delusional? From his point of view, no girl would fall for him, at least not if she was able to think clearly, anyways.

He knew that falling in love took time, hell if love even was a concept anymore. He'd promised himself after what Lori had put him through, that he'd never truly love again, for all he knew she just hadn't realized how deep their connection really was. But then they're been Andrea, who…long story short they'd only had sex because she'd been horny.

But Michelle? Shane knew there was something different about her, and the fact that the group had allowed her to stay meant they'd sensed it too. He knew no one could understand what he was feeling, after everything that had happened; the shit that still was going on. But he knew he had to keep her safe, she would be...in short, his saving grace.

Of course, that's if she'd warmed up to him. He himself still wasn't entirely sure how he felt, the women this days had a habit of just...being bitchy. Deciding not to say anything else, he decided he would wait awhile to see how things played out. Because if everything happened the way he wanted it to, there would never be another thing to be worried about again, except for staying alive.

Around 3 AM that morning, Lori woke from a dead sleep, thirsty. Not wanting to wake Rick, she slipped gently out of his arms and headed to the kitchen.

Startled when she heard crying coming from the front room, she at first thought maybe Beth had cut herself again. But then she remembered the new girl was sleeping out on the couch with Shane.

Out of morbid curiosity, Lori stuck her head into the living, only to feel as though she had interrupted something.

Shane was cradling the new girl, her face buried in his shoulder, the blanket around them both. Lori could hear her cries, muffled by the fabric against her lips.

"Ssshhhh...Michelle, you gotta breath." Shane looked at Lori, his expression a 'what-the-hell-do-I-do' one before he said, "What d'you want? It mornin' already?"

Lori shook her head, "Just came for something to drink...Carl and Rick are still asleep. How long have you and her been-"

"Since one. Said somethin' 'bout a nightmare and turned into this. I think it's anxiety, but..." he trailed off, motioning to the brunette in his arms.

"Have you tried humming? It always worked when Carl was a baby."

"Yeah, but what would-"

"Anything. That or lay down and make sure she can hear your heartbeat, it's an animal instinct for two hearts to beat as one," Lori relayed, remembering those classes she'd taken with Rick to learn how to be better parents to a newborn.

"Oh...thanks. Go on back to bed now, I think I've got this," he replied, and Lori realized he was actually smiling.

Now Shane knew why he had never married and had kids, he wouldn't have known how to handle them. Not even trying to think of words, Shane began to hum.

Almost immediately Michelle calmed, her cries stifling to whimpers. Shane smiled as her head lifted from his shoulder, her eyes were red and puffy but that didn't distract him from her green irises, and in them he saw that look of pure desperation, that need for a soft human touch. For love.

"I'm s-s-sorry...I don't kn-know wh-what got into m-me..." she stuttered, trying to catch her breath.

"S'okay. You're not the first." he murmured, thinking of the many one night stands with girls that had gotten tipsy and then emotional.

If this was how he was going to get to know her, so be it. Maybe letting things play out was for the best. And if they played out right, Shane would have both Lori and the new girl, and Rick would be dead.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, as Lori and Rick were dressing, Lori brought up what she'd seen.

"He really likes her, Rick. Or at least I think he does. I guess she had a nightmare and wouldn't calm down….I told him how we used to hum to Carl and he just….it's like he…" Lori shivered as Rick's arms worked their way around her waist, kissing her shoulder blade.

"Yeah, well, as long as you and the baby are safe, I'm fine. I talked to him anyways, he won't be a problem anymore," Rick reassured.

"Good. He's been so out of it and liable to act on a whim lately that he needs somethin' to steady him."

Rick and Shane were out in the yard, by the barn later that day. It was in the early afternoon, just after lunchtime.

"Man, are you sure we should let him go, Rick?"

"It's what's best."

"It's what's best is killin' the little shit…do you really want him comin' back with his buddies! Think of Lori! Carl! You want to keep them safe!"

"And I thought you said I couldn't protect them."

"That was befor-"

"Made you guys some lemonade, I may still have a sprained wrist, but that don't mean I'm not gonna try to work 'round here."

Michelle Young was walking toward them, two glasses in her hands.

"Before I realized we've all got someone we care about, need to keep alive," Shane trailed off as Michelle handed him a glass  
before turning to Rick.

"So I hear there's trouble with a loner from another group?" she asked.

Rick looked at Shane, who nodded, "Now you don't need to worry 'bout that, it's all under control."

"They why did Carl say you should have killed him weeks ago? Says he'd do it himself if he gets the chance. He's got a gun, too. Showed me."

"Carl said that?" Rick asked in disbelief.

"Also said he thinks Dale's death is his fault. Said he saw a walker in the mud, was gonna shoot it but he didn't and it was the same one that killed Dale," Michelle reported.

"Nevermind what he said, how'd he get a gun?" Shane asked. Rick had seemingly frozen in place, probably in shock.

"Said he found it by Daryl's motorcycle. Personally I think he should have one, if the little girl he talks 'bout had had one, maybe  
she wouldn't be dead." Michelle added.

"Carl talked about Sophia?" Rick asked, seeming to come out of his frozen state.

"Yeah...thinks I remind him a 'lil of her because of the way I act...He really misses her, wishes she was still alive."

"We all do." Shane said, trying to push the fact they'd even found her out of his head, hell it had been his fault, he'd insisted they open the barn.

That only made him think of Otis, and the scuffle that turned Otis into walker bait so Shane could slip away back to the farm to save Carl's life, leading Shane to wear a baseball hat for a week until he figured out how to explain the nick on his head, which had been Otis's fault.

He was so glad he hadn't cut his hair, he couldn't imagine how he'd look without it.

"-ane. Shane? You okay?" Michelle asked, waving her hand in front of his face.

"Yeah, just lost in thought's'all." he explained.

"Well...guess what I'm sayin' is that I want to help you guys scout. I'm a good look out, but I need to learn to shot.." she admitted.

Shane smiled, "I can teach ya, just with your wrist I don't know if I should..."

"It'll be fine. Want to take me out to a better area so there's no danger of me hittin' anyone?"

"I can't believe you're finally gonna teach me, even though I'm prolly gonna suck," Michelle told him as they drove down the road from the farm.

"Don't say that…and well, in times like this, you gotta learn how to defend yourself," Shane replied.

"So what kinda gun is this?" she picked up the gun that Shane had given her and pointed it at him loosely.

"WOAH!" Shane swerved the truck and got back on track.

"Don't point it at somethin' you ain't willin' to shoot!" Michelle quickly set down the gun. With a heavy breath she said, "Oh my God, Shane I'm so sorr-"

She was interrupted by his laugh, of which she followed. She began laughing with him, "Oh my God I'm so sorry!"

He just shook his head in approval of her apology before he said, "Here is a good place to start shooting," he told her as he pulled onto a tree-bordered field.

He began setting up targets for her, nearly broken ones that he had found in Herschel's shed. Knowing Shane, he didn't ask to borrow them. When he finished setting them up, he walked over to her with a gun of his own.

"Always treat your gun like it is off safety and loaded. That means no pointing at a man's-"

"Yea," she smiled, knowing what he was going to say.

"Alright," he smiled back, "Keep your weapon pointed in a safe direction, and place your feet firmly apart but even to your shoulders. Keep one foot pointed to your target, keep eye contact, raise your weapon, relax your shoulders, squeeze the trigger-"

He shot. The sound sent many birds flying from the trees. From what Michelle could see, it was a perfect shot. She stared at him with a slightly open-mouthed smile, returned by another one.

"Your turn."

She followed his directions, but stumbled on her shooting.

"Your arms are moving when you shoot. Keep 'em steady," he told her almost sternly, watching the momentary fear flicker in her eyes as she must have thought he was mad at her. She took a deep breath, and shot at the target.

"Hey! That almost hit the bull's-eye! Good job!"

They practiced for another three hours until Michelle got the concept down. Shane lifted up the targets and carried them with one hand to the back of the truck. He started up the truck and hopped inside.

"Hey…I have a favor to ask you."

"An' what's that?"

"Tonight…that Randall people are talkin' 'bout? I'm gonna do everyone a favor an' kill him."

"K-Kill? Shane isn't that takin' things a lil' too far?" Michelle asked with wide eyes.

"These are dangerous times, Michelle."We'll come back tomorrow," he told her. "I'm proud of you, you did good out there."

Michelle looked at him; trying to see some trace of….what was she even looking for? She didn't know, but part of her wanted to test the waters, gauge the reaction.

She looked at him and smiled, and then said gently, "I think I'm starting to like you. More than just a person, I mean- if you hadn't found me I don't know what-"

"S'okay...but who are you to be sayin' that? Just stop. You've known me for two days. You don't know me, what I'm like, who I am. Do yourself a favor and don't get too close to me."

Michelle frowned. Why was he getting all defensive over a stupid comment?

"Look, I'm not sayin' I want to be anythin'. I just...the world's so different now, and I uh, figured it'd be nice to...care about someone, not always be focusing on saving your own ass all the time," she explained.

Shane nodded, Michelle had a point. It was a human flaw, the ability to put yourself above others, just to ensure your own survival. As Dale had said, it was simple the survival of the fittest.

"You've got a point, but what I said before. You don't know me. Who's to say I wouldn't turn around and kill you if the need arises?" He challenged, anticipating her response.

"Like I wouldn't do the same to you if I needed to." she shot back, glaring.

"Okay, so we're on the same page then, darlin'." Shane said, sarcasm dripping off every word leaving his lips.

Michelle looked at him, and then turned away to stare out the window, a slight, 'humph' leaving her closed lips.

Needless to say the ride back was a little awkward.

Shane thought of how he had talked to Rick about a year ago about the difference between a man and a woman.

"What's the difference between men and women?" Rick had asked one day as they were eating burgers and fries in the car.

"Is this a joke?"

"No, serious."

And Shane had proceeded to tell the story of how apparently the only difference he knew was the women didn't turn off lights.

"Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. Born thinkin' the switch only goes one way, On. Come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently because my chromosomes happen to be different is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, baby. Oh Reverend Shane is preachin' to ya now, boy. Then this same chick, mind ya, she'll bitch about, uh, Global Warming. This is where Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say, "Uh, darlin' maybe if you and every other pair of boobs on this planet could just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much Global Warming?"

"You say that?"

"The polite version. Still, that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe and that's when the Exorcist voice pops out, "You sound just like my damn father! Always yellin' about the power bill and tellin' me to turn off the damn lights!"

"What do you say to that?" Rick asked laughing.

"I know what I want to say. What I want to say is "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?"

Both had laughed about in then, and then they got called to help with the chase that led to Rick being shot. If he could take everything back - and then Shane realized, there was no difference in the end.

Both sexes could say the stupidest shit at times.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening, Shane and Michelle walked out toward the barn, Michelle keeping a look out while Shane headed inside from the back to get Randall.

She heard the click of the metal cuffs unlocking, and then Shane's growled, "Shut up."

"But why do I gotta do that? I ain't done nothin' wrong!" Randall protested as Shane led him out of the barn, where Michelle tied a blindfold around his eyes.

"Where are we-" Randall started, cutting off as Michelle's hand hit him upside the head, "He said shut up."

"And I'm getting' you outta here." Shane said, leading Randall off towards the woods, Michelle following.

They walked in silence for some time, until they came to a suitable spot for Randall to be left.

Shane removed the blindfold, and Randall immediately saw Michelle, standing next to him.

"Oh hello…what's your name?" Randall said, noticing Michelle. Before she had time to answer, Shane had said, "Don't even think about it. Now I'm goin' to ask you something, and you better start talkin', boy. Where's your group?"

"Man, I told you, I don't know! If I did-"

"We'd be dead already, yeah, we know." Michelle cut in.

"Don't lie to me. Now tell me where they are," Shane threatened.

Randall stiffened, "Fine…I kinda remember where it's at, it's five miles up the highway..."

Shane looked at Michelle, mouthing a, "Go back now. I've got this."

With a nod, Michelle turned to walk back toward the house, thinking of the lie she'd use to cover up what was happening.

Before she left, she looked back at the pair, only asking "Are you sure this is the right thing?"

And as she walked, she knew her heart couldn't deny it. If Shane saw Randall as a danger, dangers needed to be taken care of. But deep in her heart, she knew there were better ways then killing.

Shane and Randall walked awhile in silence, until Shane had reached the place where he knew it was the right time. Sneaking up behind Randall, the boy had no idea what hit him before Shane had suddenly twisted his neck, and dropped the boy's body to the ground. Shane needed to think fast. He only had to make it look as though there had been a fight between him and Randall. It couldn't be that hard.

Finding a tree near where Randall's body was, Shane's plan came together. Not bothering to think of how Michelle would react when she saw him bloodied up, Shane more or less rammed his face into the tree. Satisfied when he could feel the blood coming out of his nose, he hid his gun in a pile of nearby leaves and then headed out of the woods, back towards the house.

Meanwhile, T-Dog was checking the barn, and then, "Oh hell no..."

Michelle had been hanging back, and the minute she heard T-Dog say that, came out of hiding.

"What's wrong?"

"That kid we had locked up? Gone...somebody better tell-"

"RICK! RICK!" Shane was yelling.

Michelle instantly took off towards his voice, only to find Rick running alongside her.

"SHANE!" Michelle hollered, not bothering to slow down even when she noticed how bloody his face was. She skidded to a stop just in front of him.

Shane wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to wipe away as much of the blood as possible before explaining,  
"Lil' bastard got loose, snuck up behind me an' caught me in the face! Got my gun too, he's armed..."

"An' hella dangerous by the looks of it," Michelle added worriedly, wiping at his face with the sleeve of the hoodie she wore, before looking into his deep brown eyes. 'What was that old saying? The eyes are the windows to the soul…yeah, that's it.' She thought.

She'd thought everything was blocked except for Shane until she heard Rick yelling orders, mostly everyone except for Glenn, Daryl, Shane and himself were to go inside and stay there, locking all doors.

She pulled away from Shane, only to have him lean in and whisper in her ear, "You know what I did, don't you? When we go into the woods...later on, take that gun I gave you and come out to find us. That little clearing, that's where I'll be. Okay?"

Michelle nodded silently, but Shane could see she doubted him. As he turned to look at Rick, he gave Michelle's hand a final reassuring squeeze before releasing her.

As she walked back into the house, Lori was saying to Andrea about how "They'll be fine...he can't be too far..."

Michelle sat down on the couch in the living room and dropped her head into her hands, whispering to any of the angels that she thought might be listening, might possibly be able to watch over Shane as he worked out whatever he needed to work out, "I just hope you know what you're doing."

Shane and Rick walked awhile until them came to the little clearing he had told Michelle about. He knew it was the perfect place to avenge his wounded pride and status as leader of the Atlanta group. He and Rick had started discussing the fact that Shane was about to kill him.

"It ain't gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl, they'll get over you. They've done it before. They just gonna have to-"

"Why? Why now? I thought we worked this all out!"

"We gotta kill each other man! What you think we just gonna forget about it all an' ride off into the sunset together? You gonna kill me in cold blood?"

"Screw my wife and my children. My children, callin' you 'daddy' is that what you want? Then life won't be worth a damn, I know you, you won't be able to live with this." Rick countered, still trying to talk Shane down.

"What you know about what I can live with? You got no idea what I can live with, what I'll live with. We talk about what I can do, Rick, how 'bout what you can do? Here I am, man, come on man, raise your gun." Shane taunted; Rick's previous comment only adding fuel to the fire.

"No, no I will not."

"What happened Rick, I thought you weren't the good guy anymore, ain't that what you said? You right here right now ain't gonna fight for 'em? I'm a better father then you, Rick! I'm better for Lori then you man, 'cause I'm a better man, Rick, 'cause I'll be here an' I'll fight for her. But you come back here and you just DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

Shane paused to catch his breath, he was heated, and there was no rational thinking in his mind. And so he continued, "You got a broken woman, you got a weak boy. You ain't got first clue on how to fix it. Raise your gun!"

Rick raised his arms in an 'I-surrender' motion, "Well, then you're gonna have to kill an unarmed man."  
Shane almost sighed in pure frustration. Why did Rick have to be at times, such the morale pacifist?

"I'm done fuckin' talkin'. This ends tonight, Rick. Now." Shane retorted, his finger itching to pull the trigger. But then he remembers Michelle, what he'd told her.

"Shane...just lower your gun...please. Watch my hands, I've got nothin'..." Rick said, reaching for Shane's gun, taking a step closer. As he did this, Rick reached for the small pocket knife at his side.

Rick knew this needed to end, he was sick of Shane, despite having fooled himself into believing he had seemingly gotten the younger officer under control. But was he really going to kill the man he'd known since high school?

A flash of semi-tan skin illuminated by the glow of the moon, startles Rick as he goes to stab Shane and he stumbles back a few steps. Around Shane's waist are slender arms, connected to them smaller hands. A muffled sob breaks through the air, Rick senses it's coming from behind Shane.

As he moves to see who it was, although he already had a clue, Shane abruptly turned and unwrapped the person's arms from around him, turning to them. It's Michelle.

It wasn't until Shane really thought that he realized what the girl was doing. She was saving him from certain death, at least for the time being. Suddenly he wanted to take everything back about what he'd said, about her not knowing him. He realized she could get to know him, and things would hopefully be just fine.

This being said, Shane knew he had a fallback if it turned out Lori truly didn't want him. He almost smiled at the thought of everything being planned out, and all was quiet for a few moments.

Not wanting to frighten her, neither man spoke, until from behind Rick someone's voice called, "Dad?"

It was Carl, standing there, gun raised, Rick's hat on his head.

"Carl, this isn't what it looks like."

Still the nine year old didn't lower his gun, despite his father's reassurance. Michelle pulled away from Shane to look at Rick, her eyes shooting daggers.

"You were going to hurt him." she spoke plainly. Rick wanted to shake his head, anything to agree with her so she wouldn't start yelling and possibly attract any walkers, but he instead found himself nodding.

"You don't know the full story. If you did, you'd see why I'm doing this."

"He saved me, by allowing me into the group, therefore I owe him. If you're gonna hurt him," here Michelle turned to stand in front of Shane, as though she was protecting him, "You're gonna have to go through me first."

Rick didn't want to be faced with the decision of killing the girl that had seemed to calm Shane's recklessness. But he didn't want to kill both of them, not with Carl there. He closed his eyes for a moment, and they opened with a snap the next second when he heard a gunshot and Michelle's scream.

"B-But it al-almost...Sh-Shane h-he could've..." she stuttered.

"Sshhh, Michelle, it's alright...Carl shot it..." he reassured, and Rick realized Lori was right; it seemed he liked her. Looking behind him, Rick was shocked to see a walker lying dead on the ground, shot in the head.

Rick looked to Carl, who lowered his gun and ran toward his father, part in shock.

"Michelle...listen, I don't have time to explain all of this here...why don't you and Carl head back to the house and I'll tell you later?" Rick suggested, hoping the girl would leave him and Shane alone. Imagine the surprise when Rick noticed her hand clutched Shane's in a death grip, and she replied, "I don't trust you."

Rick's mind seethed with realization and frustration. Shane had brainwashed the girl into being nothing but his puppet, a shield.

Michelle blinked, her eyes gazing into Rick's icy blue irises accusingly, "He hasn't changed me. I just don't trust you."

"Well..." Rick started before hearing Michelle's startled gasp, and the next thing he knew, both Shane and Michelle had taken off running. But from what?

Turning around, Rick couldn't hide the panic crossing his face. Because emerging from the woods and surrounding area, were tens, if not hundreds, of walkers.


	5. Chapter 5

"Carl, we're going to try to get as close to the house as possible…" Rick told him, before eyeing the barn.

"But what about mom?"

"She's in the house, hopefully safe."

They began to run, avoiding what walkers they could. Meanwhile, already within distance of the house, Shane and Michelle had found shelter.

"Why did you confront Rick? I thought you two were friends and all… why would you do that? He could have killed you! What were you th-" he cut her off with a sharp glare, before he noticed the fear in her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna die tonight. There's too many walkers here…" she whimpered, green eyes wide. Shane put his hands on her shoulders, grip tight, forcing her to look at him.

"Michelle...you're getting' outta here alive, I'm makin' sure of that."

"But what about you?" She asked shakily.

"I'd die for you...considerin' you just saved my life back there," he squeezed her shoulders reassuringly, "Now go on, run back to the house. I'll be right behind you."

Michelle nodded before she realized Shane had wrapped her hand around the handle of his gun.

"You know how to use this. Protect yourself."

"Bu-"

"Go."

She nodded, and turned to run. Did him giving her his gun mean his eyes were finally opening to her intentions?

"This is my farm, I'll die here." Herschel said, sadness and determination etched in his voice.

"It's a good a night as any," Daryl replied, jumping down from the porch.

"I can't find Carl or Michelle!" Lori said; frantically running back out onto the porch, "I left them upstairs and I can't find them anywhere!"

"Come on, they're not gone, we'll look again," Carol said, heading back into the house with Lori.

If Lori Grimes knew where her son and newcomer to the group really were, she'd freak out.

"Carl, take this letter and drop it when I say." Rick said, handing his son a lighter. Carl nodded, "But what about you?"

Rick smiled, "I'll be right behind you… hey look at me…I love you." He paused to kiss Carl's forehead, "Now go. Go!"

Rick turned to look at the metal bar he had inserted in the door of the barn to keep the walkers in. As Carl climbed the ladder, Rick moved the bar to open the doors.

Backing up so that the walkers would follow him, Rick scrambled to the ladder and began to climb.

"Carl now!" to his surprise the nine-year-old smiled before dropping the lighter, igniting the gasoline Rick had poured on the ground. At once walkers caught on fire, moaning and groaning.

Rick looked at the massive orange flames licking the air just beneath his feet. How were he and Carl getting out?

"The barn's on fire, look!" Michelle almost yelled before turning around to come face-to-face with walker. Lifting the gun Shane had given her, she pulled the trigger, smiling when her would-be attacker crumpled to the ground. As promised, Shane was just behind her, and had seen the barn go up as they ran.

He yelled back to her, "Don't look back, just keep runnin'!"

"But what about Rick and his son?"

"They're fine, I saw-"

"They're in the barn, Shane, I can't leave them!"

"He tried to kill me, you really gonna risk your life for him?"

Michelle fired her gun again, glowering at Shane, "Carl needs a father."

And with that, Michelle took off toward the RV she had seen, deciding she would drive it and get Rick, Carl and herself to safety. If Shane didn't want to follow he didn't have to.

Shane sighed in frustration as he followed after her, there was no way in hell he was letting her face a herd of walkers on her own.

"Around back, out here! We're over here!" Rick yelled as he saw the RV coming toward him and Carl. Being careful, he walked on the outside paneling of the farm to climb on the roof of the RV.

"Hold on," he told Carl as the RV began to move. They were safe, for now.

"Fuck... what do I do?" Michelle asked herself at the front of the RV was being bombarded by walkers pressing against it.

'You stop movin', you're dead,' the little voice in the back of her head said.

Gunning the accelerator, she almost smiled as the RV move forward, knocking aside walkers. Sighing with relief, she dipped her head back on her shoulders to stretch her neck out. Imagine how surprised she was to see Shane standing behind her.

"I told you I'm not leavin' ya."

"How the hell are we getting' out of here?"

"Just drive, forget goin' to the house. The others will follow."

"But Sh-" He cut her off, reaching for the steering wheel. Unbeknownst to them, Rick and Carl had jumped off as the RV went past the house, veering onto the road.

Realizing he was putting their safety above the group's, she cringed. But truth be told, this was the same exact thing she would do, given the conditions were right. As she thought, she realized perhaps maybe his eyes truly were  
opening, if he'd thought she wasn't worth it, he wouldn't have followed her.

Michelle had jumped in front of him when Rick went to stab him only because she had hoped that would open his eyes, make Shane realize he had someone that cared about him And when he took her shooting, told her not to get too close to him? She brushed that off, didn't heed his warning. He didn't seem like a bad guy as far as she could tell.

"Why did we jump? I'm pretty sure we were safer on the top of RV," Carl criticized as he and Rick ran.

"Because..." Rick grabbed his gun seeing the Walker too close to Herschel for comfort. He shot the walker and it fell to the ground, gray matter pouring out of the bullet hole.

"Herschel, we gotta go, there's no time!" Rick yelled trying to get the old man to stop shooting walkers and turn around to get in a car.

"My farm…"

"There's no time!"

Fueled by adrenaline, Rick lept forward and grabbed the old man's arm, pulling him toward a car. Opening up the driver's side and climbing in, Rick slammed the door just as Carl and Herschel slammed theirs. Driving off, no one in the car looked back. If they would, they would have seen Andrea running after them.

Lori had managed to pry Beth from her mother, her having been torn apart by a rather hungry herd of walkers. She was in a truck now, Beth beside her, and T-Dog driving.

"I knew we should have just gone to the coast in the first place," T-Dog was saying.

"We need to go back. Rick and Carl-"

"You want to go back to the bloodbath? The farm is overrun, I'm sure Rick and Carl are safe."

"Turn the truck around, or I'm jumpin'." Lori threatened, hand poised to open the door.

"Woman are you crazy?"

"At least turn around and go back to the highway where we set up stuff for Sophia. I think everyone would meet there," she pleaded.

T-Dog sighed, and turned the truck around.

Glenn and Maggie had managed to escape in a car, and Daryl had taken off on his motorcycle after pausing to rescue Carol. And although neither group knew that the others were safe, they all contemplated heading to the highway to meet up as soon as the sun was up.


	6. Chapter 6

Meanwhile, back in the RV, after finding a nice place to park that would be hidden and walker free, Shane and Michelle decided to get comfortable.

"We're gonna be here for a while, might as well sleep," he suggested, watching her eyeing the couch in the back.

She looked at him, a flirty smile playing on those cracked and bloodied lips.

"Well, I wasn't really thinkin' about sleep…" she started, in turn gauging his reaction.

She blinked and he grinned, thumbs hooking in the belt loops of his jeans as he bit his lip, "Well...what were ya thinkin'?"

Michelle looked down at the floor, giggling softly.

"I know this is goin' to sound way too early for this kinda talk, but...we've both just survived a herd of walkers, an' we're alone, at night, in a safe spot...an' to be honest, I'm really starting to think your whole 'don't get close to me an' by the way I don't like you' facade is total bullshit. The way you look at me is different then when I first saw ya."She explained, narrowing her eyes at him, waiting for a response.

Shane laughed, "Girl, you really think I'm fallin' for you? Please...you're the last person I'd even consider. Besides, I've got someone else already, an' she loves me more than you ever could dream of."

"Oh, who is it, that brunette who's always yellin' at your friend's kid? Yeah, don't think I don't know that's his mom. She's taken, an' yet you somehow went for her. Have you ever thought that perhaps she's only with ya because she's afraid of what rejection would do to ya?"

Shane seethed, Michelle was telling him that Lori didn't love him. What a lie that was, Shane knew Lori loved him, she just wasn't allowing herself to admit the truth.

"I'd shut up if I were you. You have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout," Shane said, almost adding a 'bitch' under his breath.

"Yea? Make me. You think you're so tough...you just want to be the leader and have all the girls fawnin' over you to make you feel important! You're an insecure selfish bastard that won't admit that he likes the girl right in front of him even after she's saved his ass and blatantly stated she cares for him! You're just-"

At this point Shane had grown tired of Michelle's rant, and not thinking about word choice, wanted to shut her up.

"Bitch, do you ever shut up?"

Michelle laughed, an innocent, almost childlike laugh, "Thanks hon', I know I'm beautiful, but in order for me to shut up you're gonna have to kiss me first." she said smirking.

She tried not to grin as Shane's lip curled in a mock-snarl as he walked towards her.

"If you owe me for savin' you out in the woods, you owe me a lil' more than a kiss, if ya catch my drift." He finally wagered, anger dissipating from his voice.

"W-W-Wait...what?" Michelle stuttered, startled by his proposition.

"You heard me."

"No! No...I won't. Hell, I've never had a boyfriend!" She shuddered as Shane's gaze locked with hers.

"Thought you liked me, darlin'. What's wrong? Too scared now that you see what I'm like?" He taunted sarcastically.

"It's an act. You wouldn't do that to me...I can see it in your eyes, you're not the type that likes to deal in absolutes. And although it's true I do feel something for you, I doubt what you're saying is the way to get me to show it!" she countered, trying to think of ways to get out of her situation.

"Want if I took it slow, treated you like you were my girl? I promise I'll be...gentle, concerned..." he offered.

Michelle snorted in disbelief, she could see right through him. All he wanted was sex, and there was no way she was going to give in to him.

"I'd like to be your girl, but you've said you've got one already...though I highly doubt she even wants ya. An'...I do like ya...but this isn't the way to go 'bout things."

Shane nodded, realizing what she meant before an idea hit him.

"I'll let ya be my girl after this."

Her head snapped up after having said this, "An' now you say somethin'. I won't end up like that blonde everyone talks 'bout, will I? They say you an' her had a fling? An' now you want even talk ta her...I don't wanna be like that."

She blinked as Shane walked closer to her, cupping her face with his hands. She wanted to pull away, but something about the way he just...was made her stay still.

"You won't be like that. I'm promisin' ya. An' if my current girl decides to end it, I've got you...right?" he asked softly, his gaze becoming warmer, not as distant.

Michelle nodded, "As long as you'll keep me alive in this crazy world."

And with that, she exhaled a shaky breath, and pulled off her shirt, almost not catching the smile on Shane's face.

Well hell. Most of his plan had worked. Pending Rick wasn't dead, but he'd gotten the new girl. And with Lori? Now if she truly backed out of admitting the truth to herself, it didn't matter. Shane had already found a new outlet for desire.

Michelle opened her eyes, realizing it was morning, her mind still hazy from the night before.

'What the hell was I thinking? Did I just piss him off enough to get him to finally admit he likes me? Screw liking me...I...why the fuck am I naked? Oh no...do not tell me I actually had sex with him...oh god, I did...this...this is just fuckin' great.'

"If my fam knew I was doin' with you, they'd be callin' me a whore for sure," she mumbled sleepily, not even sure if Shane was awake.

"You're not a whore, Michelle. You're just lonely, that's s'all. I do wanna ask though, you were bleedin'. You' alright?" Shane smiled, handing her the shirt she'd tugged off the next before. She nodded.

"I'm fine… guess I'm bleedin' 'cause I'm not used to it...that an' my period's due soon…oh no…if…" she felt quiet, eyes darting worriedly from her stomach to Shane.

"What's wrong?"

"N-Nothin'… I just hope I don't get…" she trailed off. Concerned, Shane knelt to her level as she looked around for her jeans as she continued, "Pregnant. If I'm on my period I don't think that can happen but I never really got to ask anyone…an' you're a guy, you prolly won't know."

Shane laughed, "Yeah, you got me. No clue. I'll tell you what, if we had to the highway and run into the others, you should ask Lori, she'd prolly know seein' as she has a baby on the way," he reasoned.

"That sounds perfect. Should we get goin'?"

He nodded, climbing up on front to the driver's seat. As he started the RV, he said, "Look. I'm sorry about last night. You just...managed to piss me off in a way no-one's been able to do before. And it got to me. I guess what I'm tryin' say is...I'm starting to realize I have feelings for you. I hope you can forgive me about last night..."

She nodded, "Yeah, I should be able to. And about her...maybe you'll change your mind. Maybe, just maybe, you'll find I'm better for you then she is."

Not fifteen minutes later, the RV pulled up onto the main road where the group had left things for Sophia. Parking, Shane and Michelle got out, surprised to see a few others of the group already there. Upon seeing him, Carl took off at a run and embraced Shane, not hearing his mom yelling his name sharply as a warning.

"Hey lil' man, glad to see you're okay."

Carl nodded, looking at Shane, then at Michelle before adding, "Why d'ya look scared?"

"Well let's see… we almost were all killed by walkers an' I almost got separated from y'all an' –" Michelle felt quiet as she saw the look on Carl's face, he'd gotten the point she was trying to make.

"Sorry...can I come talk to your mom?"

He grinned, "C'mon."

"Hey Lori?" Michelle asked, her voice almost catching in her throat. What was there to be nervous about, it was a stupid little question.

The thirty something brunette turned, surprised to see Michelle standing behind her.

"You alright? You seem like you're shaking a lil'." Lori observed, her mother's intuition having kicked in after seeing the group go through more than their share of traumatic times.

"Mostly...I just have this one question, an' it's really buggin' me...but its kinda private and somethin' only a girl would know."

Lori's eyes widened, but then she smiled, guessing Michelle had never really had any sort of 'talk' with her mother.

"Go ahead, ask...I don't mind."

"Well...can a girl get pregnant if she has sex on her period?" Michelle said quickly, feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks in embarrassment.

Lori coughed slightly, almost choking on air at the simple question. This wasn't just an 'outta the blue' question, something had caused her to ask this, and Lori was damned if she knew the reason.

"Sweetie, that's really not the kind of thing I thought you meant, but, yes, in some cases it's possible."

"Great….that's the last thing I need to happen to me now…It's not the right time or place to be havin' a baby…" Michelle muttered scornfully, staring at the ground.

Lori blinked; just to be sure she'd heard it. Was Michelle implying she might be pregnant? But-

"Please don't tell me you believe you're pregnant."

"I'm not. Yet…I just…I'm scared...I didn't realize everythin' could go….wrong….so quickly!" The younger girl almost snapped.

"That's what they're supposed to teach ya in middle school. Don't have sex until you're really ready for the consequences." Lori shot back, not realizing it would probably offend Michelle.

"I didn't think! I just…wait, if you're saying that, why are you keepin' yours?"

Lori was silent as she realized what Michelle had just said. So she knew that Lori was pregnant. But who could've- Shane. Lori immediately knew Michelle was in trouble. If she'd been talking to Shane...

"Because I feel I'll be able to support it, and it's one step closer to this world seeming normal."

"Normal? There never was a normal, even before the walkers came!"

"Maybe not for you, but before this hit I had a relatively nice life with a son and husband unlike you, just a lonely twenty something that prolly had no life to begin with," Lori shot back, catching the hurt in Michelle's eyes before the brunette yelled back her own reply.

"I had a life! It wasn't great but it was somethin'!"

"Then why do I get the feelin' that the reason you think you're pregnant is that you've just slept with the one guy who I'm positive isn't right for you?"

Michelle's face paled. How the hell did Lori know what had happened between her and Shane just the night before?

"How do you know Shane's not right for me? I seem to be keepin' him happy, somethin' everyone else seems to think is impossible!" Michelle almost shouted.

"If by keepin' him happy means havin' his baby I see where you're comin' from. But that's only gonna make things worse!"

"An', again, I'll repeat….why are you keepin' yours if it's makin' everythin' worse?" Michelle chided, obviously pissed off.

Rick and Shane had both heard the commotion the argument was causing, so they both walked over to see what was wrong. Lori and Michelle both looked ready to jump at each other and claw each other blind.

Rick walked toward Lori, and Shane headed toward Michelle, both men aiming to calm the women down.

"Ladies….why don't we talk about this some other time, after we find-" Rick started, before Lori turned in his arms, Michelle yelling with her, "SHUT UP!"

Shane looked at Michelle, surprised to see she'd actually yelled at him before she added, "This is my fight. Back off."

He nodded, having to comment against his better judgment, "Just keep ya cool…it's not worth it."

Michelle snapped and reached for his collar, pulling him closer so his face was inches from hers, eyes blazing daggers.

"It's your fault we're in this argument, dumbass! Leave me alone!"

Obediently, Shane nodded as she released him, walking away. Instantly Andrea's words rang in his head, "It's not your decisions that are wrong. It's the presentation."

Oddly enough, he realized, she'd been right all along.

Shane was chopping firewood by his truck out in the field by the forest while he listened on to Glenn's safety rant.

"Shane, there are other farms, that walker invasion was...too much for this group. We need to find a place for our group to find, well, you know-"

"Peace of mind?" Shane finished Glenn's sentence.

Glenn nodded as Shane continued.

"Glenn. I know you wanna protect your girl Maggie, but you gotta realize that we all have someone we wanna protect. And if we all put our hands in for one place, one idea, sure. Great! We'll find better ground. But not everyone is agreein' here. I'm all with you, Glenn, I have a famil- uhm- girl, too. Trust me, I want her safe as much as you want Maggie May safe-"

"Just Maggie"

"Right, whatever. You see, the thing is I'm not the leader here. We are...gradually splitting to teams. And we all need to, I don't know, turn our keys together on this one. Some just need a rest to regroup, some want to head back to the farm, some want to move on, everyone has a plan. We just need to hang in there."

With Shane's final chop of wood, he patted Glenn roughly on the back with a comforting smile and headed back to his truck.

"Need a ride?" he yelled as he hopped into the driver's seat. Glenn half-smiled and headed over to the truck to head back to base.

"Lori, thanks for listening again," Michelle sat against a tree a little far off from their camp to talk to Lori in private. Lori smiled slightly but lightly rolled her eyes as Michelle went on, their earlier spat forgotten completely.

"I'm really worried about havin' this baby, you know? How am I gonna be a good mom? There are walkers everywhere, I don't have a crib, and how the hell do ya breastfeed? I just don-"

Lori had had enough. "Stop."

Michelle's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Stop actin' like you're expectin'...you don't know yet."

"I'm pretty sure though, you said yourself-"

"Who's the father?" Lori interrupted again.

"...I don't see how that's any of your business," Michelle responded.

"It's Shane. Isn't it," Lori stated. Michelle stared at her shoes.

"You do know that I'm havin' his baby."

Michelle felt her heart sink into her stomach. She opened her mouth to say "What?" but yet again, Lori intruded.

"We had sex. In the forest. When I thought Rick was dead before you graced us with your presence, he was mine. Boy were we happy. And now I'm havin' his baby."

"It could be Rick's"

"Ha!" Lori laughed, "If you were a mother you can tell whose baby you're having."

Lori didn't know why she was being so defensive over Shane, let alone why she was hurting the young girl, but she was sick of hearing other people's challenges she had already been through without recognition, and was tired of Michelle following her trail.

"When you and I have our children, Shane's gonna have to choose. He still has feelings for me, you know. He will choose me, he has before and will again. He's mine."

Michelle's eyes teared up as a short moment of silence went by along with the far off sound of birds chirping.

"And you'll be dumped just as fast as...what's her name? Oh, yea, Andrea."

Michelle snapped as the memory from earlier that week came flooding back.

"Who the fuck was that bitch?" Michelle had asked suddenly after a few seconds of silence as she and Shane sat on the couch in the living room, she having gotten into a small argument with the blonde over when she would be able to work, pending her wrist was healed.

"Andrea, she just lost someone close to her recently, and she's prone to...not like new people. And uh, she's...kinda my ex."

"That bitch?" Michelle repeated, in disbelief.

"Well...we've only really had sex once, and it was 'cause both of us were missin' human touch...there's nothin' special 'bout her, except that she's good with a gun. Don't let her get to you. Like I said, she's my ex, so she's not going to take nicely to anyone she thinks may want to be with me."

Was it a mother's intuition that she knew how Michelle feared being the next Andrea? And why was Lori attacking her like this? Screw this, Michelle thought I'm tired of being the nice one. Time to stand up for yourself, Michelle.

"How DARE you," Michelle stood shaking.

"Look at you, you're shakin' like a leaf. You don't scare me, you're just scared of the truth... You're scared of ME."

"You cheated on Rick. Who do you think Shane is gonna choose? A new life, or an old one already taken?"

"You know, I think I know why you're being such a little bitch...You don't wanna lose your first and probably last friend with benefits. You think Shane has feelings for you? No...you're just his...you're just his little toy."

Michelle could feel the anger all through her body. She shook inside but stood her ground, screaming bitterly and running into Lori, knocking her back slightly but not enough to send her to the ground.

Lori grabbed Michelle's hair and slammed her forehead into a tree trunk, causing her head to bleed. Michelle flipped Lori around and jumped on the back of her shoulders, sending her knees to the ground.

Michelle pulled harshly on Lori's hair, causing Lori to scream, but Lori struck back. She stood up and made Michelle fall, grabbed her by the hair this time, and threw her back to the ground again.

Panting and wiping her forehead, Lori managed to say, "In the dust...Just like Andrea."

Michelle picked herself back up and sprinted towards Lori,smirking at seeing fear in her eyes. Michelle swung back her fist and Lori was ready to feel the blow of the impact, but Michelle was stopped dead in her tracks when she felt a strong forearm wrapped around her neck, holding her in what she easily recognized as a headlock.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOIN'?" Shane yelled. Michelle struggled in his arms to break free and attack her new enemy.

"Nothin'...now get the fuck offa me! You don't interrupt a bitchfight unless you wanna die!" Michelle choked out, still struggling against Shane's grip.

"You really think I'm gonna let you go? Ya both are bleedin' pretty decently...save the violence for the walkers," he added, noticing Lori's glare.

"Yea, like when you went an' opened the barn without permission? Yea, I'm not the one who should be talkin'. Save the violence...who d'ya think you are?" she snapped, running a hand through her hair, not surprised to find dirt and loose hair coming out.

"Lori, what the hell is your problem?"

"Shane, she attacked ME first and Michelle, admit it, that's how you ended up right before you got screwed. Clueless and completely helpless," Lori added smugly.

"Yeah, 'cause you provoked me enough to get what was comin' for you anyways. 'Bout time someone knocked you down to size," Michelle interjected through gritted teeth.

Shane stepped back, letting Michelle go, she dropping to her knees with a relieved intake of air.

"What?" He asked her.

"Shane, it's not what you think-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. Michelle, save your bullshit. And you, Lori... what the hell happened to you? Both of you?" He started to walk away.

"Shane, wait-" Both women yelled, trying to scramble to their knees fast enough to catch him as he walked away.

"No!" Shane kept walking on, "I thought it was the walkers turnin', not us."

Michelle stumbled back, hurt by his words. The last thing she saw before her eyes blurred with tears was Lori glaring brilliantly at Michelle and walking away.


	7. Chapter 7

The farm she'd just seen? 'Beautiful, just like Herschel's. Wonder if it'd fit all of us? I should check it out...' she thought.

Parking the car into a ditch just next to the gravel driveway, Michelle grabbed her gun and hesitantly walked up to the glass front door, smiling at the red and black ATV parked just outside the garage. Seeing the ATV parked out front must have meant there had living people here at one point, perhaps there still was. Gun trained and out in front of her, Michelle hesitantly opened the front door, finding it unlocked.

""Ello? Anybody there? I'm just lookin' 'round, if ya stay alive, lemme know now!" she hollered, checking for life.

Heading into the kitchen, Michelle was surprised to find it spotless, all dishes point away and floor clean.

'Jeez. Clean freaks? Oh, look, a note!' She thought, picking the piece of paper off the countertop.

It read, "Dear reader...if you're readin' this, our home is now y'alls. we've moved on, didn't wanna deal. Have fun an' stay alive as long as ya can. Water's in the garage an' the downstairs cellars have some food still...pray god can save us...we're gonna need all the help we can get."

Michelle smiled, "Huh. Guess all people aren't that bad...free livin' space though, might as well check it out!"

Leading from the kitchen, there seemed to be two living room type areas, one with a couch and two loveseats by a fireplace, the other connected to a dining room type area. The section connected to the dining room type area had a small coffee table and two chairs by a small tv. The dining room area was an old looking oak wood table surrounded by chairs. Near the dining room area, there was a door that Michelle presumed lead to the garage, and then another sliding patio style door that lead to a outdoor storage / patio space. In one of the nooks in the wall between the garage door and the patio one, there was a washer and a dryer.

'Seems like a comfy place they had...I should check the rest of this place out!'

Heading back to the kitchen, Michelle couldn't help but notice the small bowls set out. It appeared the family had owned pets, perhaps a cat or a dog. Walking down the hallway, Michelle found the bathroom. It looked like it had just recently been re-tiled. Down the hall from this was what Michelle assumed had been a small child's room, painted in soft pastels with picture books still littering the floor. She smiled, picking up what looked like a tattered copy of 'Goodnight Moon'.

'No child should have to grow up in a world like this...' she thought, but grimacing at her situation.

If what Lori said was true, she'd have to make sure she could trust Shane. There was no way she wanted to lose him to someone that had been married before all this shit happened.

Leaving the small child's room, she headed to the room at the corner of the hall. The room was painted green and purple, and had a sliding glass door along one of the walls. A small lamp lay in pieces on the floor, a Nintendo DS beside in, games strew over the room. Stuffed animals were still on the bed, asthough a child had tucked them in. Michelle sighed. This all looked so peaceful, so undisturbed. It all seemed so out of place.

Closing the door to this room, she headed to the room directly across from it, which from the setup of the bed and dressers, and the size of the bed, she assumed it was the master bedroom. Again, she found bedding and pillows undisturbed, the only sign that someone had once been here was the one odd thing she noticed throughout the house. There were no pictures, anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I hate to say this, the inspiration and drive for this story has vanished. I may still work on it when season three comes on, but I just don't know. In the meantime, I'll tell you what my intentions were toward the end. The group eventually relocated to the farm that Michelle found, finding there are enough supplies to support them for at least a few months, a it seemed the previous owners were preparing for doomsday and had still decided to leave. Lori miscarries (like I totally hope the show does) her baby and becomes increasingly hostile toward Michelle. Shane and Rick both try to find a way to get the pair to work together, but it just doesn't happen. Carol and Daryl grow closer, as do Maggie and Glen.
> 
> blah blah blah walker killing action and someone's death blah blah blah
> 
> The real ending comes after Michelle's had her twins, (two girls, Riley and AnnMarie). Everything seems alright until one night, AnnMarie doesn't stop coughing, and eventually throws up. She's caught the flu, and influenza is deadly to infants. So naturally, AnnMarie dies. After she dies in Michelle's arms, she and Shane both know what is going to happen. As the oddly as the bittersweet moment is, they both say goodbye to their daughter before Shane resolves to letting Michelle shoot the baby to prevent her from reanimating. This gunshot wakes the other twin, who calms as Shane cradles her, humming an old lullaby the pair had known before the walkers came. That lullaby is Owl City's Lonely Lullaby. I would suggest looking up the lyrics to it, it'll better help the ending really 'fit'.
> 
> Hence the title, "It's A Bitter World I'd Rather Dream" and naming the other twin AnnMarie .


End file.
